TRACY'S ADVENTURES IN DATING LAND
|I dated this guy|
My husband left me the week before Father's Day 2009. I have two children who, at the time, were 12 and 13 years old. I was a stay at home mom with a part time job and a full time love affair with my life. I was shocked. I was mad. I was scared that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I panicked. I signed up for five dating sites.
Eharmony does not allow dating to people who are still married, even if they are separated so I did their free personality test instead.The questions were quite comprehensive and it took a long time to complete. The report on my personality was tremendously validating. Of-course the profiles are all put in a positive format, as if to say, "Hey, this is YOU, and its great that it's YOU even if you like punk music and would spend your last eight dollars on flowers."
You have to fix yourself!
That validation helped to save my self esteem. After being told that I was so many awful things, among them: selfish, foolish, and irresponsible.It was heaven to hear that even if I was those things, someone out there would love me. It was the first step to my adventure in dating land.
Lavalife, Zoosk,Match.com, Plentyoffish, Singleparentmeet.com. I don't want to make myself sound desparate. I just found it slightly compelling to go on sites and find men who would say nice things to me like: "I love your hair" and "I like punk music too!" Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of creepy stuff on there too but there are many privacy and safety choices you can make.
After a while I actually found some people that I felt I could meet. The idea is to meet first to see if you want to actually go on a date. This screening process is a good idea as I will illustrate by the following accounts of two "misses".
Account 1 Meeting at Second Cup 5:30p.m.
Me: Hi, I'm Tracy
Him: Oh, I didn't think you were going to show up.
Me: Its 5:20, I'm early..........
Me: What are your favourite foods?
Him: Steak and potatoes and, oh yea I love ice-cream!
Me: There's a ice-cream parlour next store, do you want to go?
Him: Uh, no thanks I'm lactose intolerant.
Me: So why are you online?
Him: The girls at work put me up to it. I mean, none of the pretty girls are ever going to go out with me.....
Me: Uh, I'm sorry?
Him: Oh, I mean the REALLY pretty girls.
Account 2 Meeting at Port Credit marina
I was looking for a man a little taller than myself . He said he was 5'8". He turns out to be a gnome. However he seems nice so we sit down.
Him: We are so proud of our children, one is in university, one is a lawyer. We just love it when they come home. Of course we haven't seen them for a long time, but they are coming home for holidays soon.
Me: Are you still living with your wife?
Him:Yes but its an arranged marriage and we are mostly just friends.
Me: So, when you go home tonight will your wife be there waiting for you?
Him: I don't know.
Me: Check please!
Well, you have to have coffee with a few frogs before you catch a prince. I did eventually catch a prince. His name is Rick and he loves to skip stones, hike in the woods, sit by a fire and go for long walks . He really does. He rubs my feet when I'm tired and calls me his "little red-head" in Polish.We go boating and to movies we both like. We both love crab cakes. He does not like punk music but he embraces my love of all music. He is a good match. I met him on Plentyoffish.
I highly recommend the dating sites. Find the one that is right for you but take these tips:
- Don't get locked into paying for sites that don't have easy exit plans. Try the free ones first.
- Be HONEST in your profile. Put a current picture up and don't say you like cars and violent movies if you don't.
- NEVER give out your address or phone number until you have had a few dates. Always meet somewhere other than his or your home in the beginning.
- DO let your kids meet him the first time he picks you up. You would want to meet your daughter's date, wouldn't you?
- Remember that you are doing this to meet people and keep your mind open. Friends first always.